The Diary of Octavian Castellan
by jumpingjaxx13
Summary: From the beginning to the end, this was the life of the augur of New Rome- the stories that nobody but himself got to hear- and how they ended him. Rated T for suicidal/sexual themes later on. Implications of Jason/Octavian, Bryce/Octavian, and Mike/Octavian.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **I have a headcanon that Octavian and Luke are half brothers, and that will come into play. Warning for suicidal/sexual themes later on. Obviously, not now, for he is still very young and living with Luke. All spelling errors are made on purpose.**

Dear Diery,

Daddy took us to a therpost therapist today after Mommy had one of her episods. He said it was becoz because he was afraid that she was going to hurt me. I am okay, thoh. She never calls me by my name. It is funny because she thinks she had two kids named Luke. I tell her that I am Octaven Octavian, not Luke! But she dosnt lissen. But it dosnt bother me because she always gives me cookies when I am Luke. Mommy makes really yummy cookies.

The therapist told me to rite write all my feelings in this book. I am supposd to tell it when I am sad or angry or happy. But I dont no how the book is going to help me when I am mad because it is just paper. When Luke is mad, he screams at the sky and looks for the man.

I like the man. His shoes have wings that are fun to draw and he has funny sneks. Mommy always makes cookies when the man comes, but Daddy dosnt like him. He calls him grekus Graecus. Luke calls him daddy. Mommy calls him Herrmees Hermes. Daddy tells me to call him Mercuree Mercury.

Mercury gave me a present today. It was a little bear. He told me that I need it and i need to practis. I dont know what he was toking about, but the bear is soft and I like it. The voises in my head liked it too. Mommy cried when the man left and Luke was angry, but I was happy. I like him.

Sinserle Sincerely,

Octavian Castellan


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: How many of these do I need, again? Well, I still don't own anything.**

Dear Diery,

Luke left yesterday. He told me that he coldnt be with Mommy anymore because she was scaring him and he coldnt wait until after my birthday. He needed to go immedetley or he wold never be able to come back. I beged him to stay, but he didnt. That is why I am writing in this book, because I am sad.

Today is my birthday. Mommy and Daddy are fighting because she didnt make me cookies. Luke isnt here, but she likes to pretend that he is. She called me Luke five times today and she didnt say Happy Birthday at all. The man didnt come either, but thats okay. I still have his present, but I dont like it much anymore. The voices in my head wont let me play with it. They want me to destroy it. Daddy blames the Graecus. I dont like the man anymore.

Sincererly,

Octavian Castellan

* * *

Dear Diery,

I am in the car right now. Daddy came into my room and grabbed my arm and said we had to leave. Mommy was crying and the cookies in the oven were burning. I asked him if we cold stay for the cookies but he said no because they werent my cookies. They were Luke's cookies. I dont know why Luke gets cookies on my birthday because he isnt here, but it made Daddy very mad. Daddy is scary when he is mad because when Daddy is mad, he gives me owies. So I have to be very quiet.

Daddy dosnt like the voises in my head either. He says that they are a curse and that I am going to be sorry, just like Mommy. He said that I cant use Mommy's name anymore. The voises didnt like that and now they wont leave me alone. Im scared, diery. I just want to go home.

Sincerererly,

Octavian Castellan


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Nothing has changed ownership-wise**

Dear Diary,

It has been far too long, and it seems we have a lot to catch up on. I will be as brief as possible, seeing as my father doesn't know that I have recovered the book. I don't want to think about what he would do if he discovered that I had been in his room and was writing in this. But let's not think about that.

It has been multiple years now, and I am almost ten years old. Father took me down to LA, which is a long way away from where Mom lives. Sometimes, I wonder how she is doing, but I'm not allowed to talk to her. According to father, I'm not allowed to talk to anyone. Not even myself. He still doesn't like the voices in my head and he tries to take away my toys, but I don't mind. I don't need anyone. Especially not him.

The kids at school think I am really weird. I think they are right. Apparently, most kids don't have voices or rip up stuffed animals or talk to themselves. They don't play the piano like I do, either. Father says I have a natural gift, but I don't know. All I know is that when he drinks, it makes him calm when I play for him. It is like a lullaby. When I play music, it makes him sleep, and he is okay when he wakes up. If I don't or if I play the wrong thing, he hurts me. He says that he doesn't miss Mom, but I don't know. He hasn't been happy since we left.

I haven't either.

I can't be depressed like my counselor says. My father says that I have nothing to be depressed about. He might be kind of mean, but he has never been wrong. Mercury was a bad man who didn't care about us. Mom went crazy after Luke left and she didn't love me, either. The voices in my head tell me to go somewhere, but I can't run away. I am not strong enough, and my father proves that all of the time. There was one thing he was wrong about, though.

I will write again as soon as I can.

Octavian Castellan


End file.
